What to do when your elderly parents do not listen
We asked the experts for their advice on what to do in situations like this - and unlike some parents, we actually heard.
Experts advise:
1. Accept the situation.
You may want your mantra to be "What is it." In other words, "you can horse to water, but you can not make them drink." Suzanne Modigliani, a geriatric care manager in Boston with a social work background, pointed out, "they are adults with Decision-making - even the poor. "
2. Blame the child (that's you) or the adult.
If mom is not willing to change her behavior for herself, does she do it for her family? Robert Kane, MD, author of "The Good Caregiver," director of the Center for the Elderly at the University of Minnesota and a professor at the School of Public Health, said his mother quit smoking after his sister contested. Second argument that second-hand smoke is a risk To the children. Another approach is to tell your parents, "You do not want me to worry, right?" This (fill in the blanks) will give me great peace of mind. I!"
3. Decide how important the problem is.
Is it a safety issue or something that just annoys but does not matter? As the saying goes, choose your battle.
4. Do not beat yourself.
Roseann Vanella, 50, of Marlton, New Jersey, is a family mediator. But even with her professional training, she could not reason with her parents. Her 84-year-old father has dementia and her mother, aged 75, has a blood disorder. However, her mother insisted on bringing her husband to Sicily on vacation. Vanella told her, "I can not stop you for medical jet insurance." She said she would do that. Immediately after arriving in Italy, her mother's illness began, she needed a blood transfusion and went home. She admitted she never bought insurance. Vanella and her brother were on the next plane. "Then I said," She will never take him to Europe, "said Vanella." I told her that it was bad for my dad because of dementia. "Again, Vanella had to go to Italy and bring them back." The hardest part was knowing that something might have been blocked but not, "she noted." My advice is do not hit. Wall input is too hard. There are not many things we can do but stand tight and be able to jump in when needed. "
5. Find an external outlet for your emotions.
If you are angry or angry that your dad is not participating in the program, feel confident, senior care management, senior care physician, online support group, sibling or therapist instead of parent. you.
6. Think ahead.
Is there a milestone they want to be around, such as a graduation, graduation or wedding? Then bring it up!
7. Treat them like adults.
Dr. Kane warns about rejuvenating parents. Coping with a stubborn parent is not the same as treating a stubborn child. The elderly should be self-reliant. "
8. Try to understand the motives behind their behavior.
Modigliani asks himself: Will they act according to this habit, to assert their independence, or because they are depressed or confused? What are they afraid of?
>> Click here if you want to find Senior Housing MN for your parents!
Experts advise:
1. Accept the situation.
You may want your mantra to be "What is it." In other words, "you can horse to water, but you can not make them drink." Suzanne Modigliani, a geriatric care manager in Boston with a social work background, pointed out, "they are adults with Decision-making - even the poor. "
2. Blame the child (that's you) or the adult.
If mom is not willing to change her behavior for herself, does she do it for her family? Robert Kane, MD, author of "The Good Caregiver," director of the Center for the Elderly at the University of Minnesota and a professor at the School of Public Health, said his mother quit smoking after his sister contested. Second argument that second-hand smoke is a risk To the children. Another approach is to tell your parents, "You do not want me to worry, right?" This (fill in the blanks) will give me great peace of mind. I!"
3. Decide how important the problem is.
Is it a safety issue or something that just annoys but does not matter? As the saying goes, choose your battle.
4. Do not beat yourself.
Roseann Vanella, 50, of Marlton, New Jersey, is a family mediator. But even with her professional training, she could not reason with her parents. Her 84-year-old father has dementia and her mother, aged 75, has a blood disorder. However, her mother insisted on bringing her husband to Sicily on vacation. Vanella told her, "I can not stop you for medical jet insurance." She said she would do that. Immediately after arriving in Italy, her mother's illness began, she needed a blood transfusion and went home. She admitted she never bought insurance. Vanella and her brother were on the next plane. "Then I said," She will never take him to Europe, "said Vanella." I told her that it was bad for my dad because of dementia. "Again, Vanella had to go to Italy and bring them back." The hardest part was knowing that something might have been blocked but not, "she noted." My advice is do not hit. Wall input is too hard. There are not many things we can do but stand tight and be able to jump in when needed. "
5. Find an external outlet for your emotions.
If you are angry or angry that your dad is not participating in the program, feel confident, senior care management, senior care physician, online support group, sibling or therapist instead of parent. you.
6. Think ahead.
Is there a milestone they want to be around, such as a graduation, graduation or wedding? Then bring it up!
7. Treat them like adults.
Dr. Kane warns about rejuvenating parents. Coping with a stubborn parent is not the same as treating a stubborn child. The elderly should be self-reliant. "
8. Try to understand the motives behind their behavior.
Modigliani asks himself: Will they act according to this habit, to assert their independence, or because they are depressed or confused? What are they afraid of?
>> Click here if you want to find Senior Housing MN for your parents!
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